Post #45: Canvas Painting #6

Post #44: Canvas Painting #5

Post #43: Canvas Painting #4

Post #42: Canvas Painting #3(Central Perk: F.R.I.E.N.D.S.)

Post #41: Canvas Painting #2

Post #40: Canvas Painting #1

Post #39: The Relationship/Friendship: Setting Priority or Ignoring

               Many a time you feel ignored or avoided by the person you know and admire. Who actually avoid or ignore you? Unfortunately, they are your friends, good or the best.

            Sometimes I feel, instead of being someone’s good or the best friend, I should become a stranger daily; at least I would get a reply. Sometimes I think once you feel avoided by someone, never disturb them again. When I set this status on my whatsapp, my many friends started asking, who avoided you? I even got a message from the person, who hardly communicates with me ever. One of my friends told me, it's not necessary to reply, it's not necessary to talk everyday. I feel you're the guy I can never forget, she meant to tell me I was her besty when we had free time. 

              Yeah I also believe it is not necessary. I did not mean to create a controversy by putting a status on my whatsapp. It is the most stupid thing I would do. I had just felt that way, let's see by not disturbing them again. Maturity is when you don't put a status anywhere on social media if you feel that way. Let's just directly tell them that you ignored me. 

                  There is no one in this world who has so much of leisure time or who has no time at all. It’s all about setting priorities who you want to pay your attention or give a simple reply at least on the virtual platform. Friends are worried about their jobs, money, busy in settling life, peer pressure, family, marriage and other scrupulous events. But can’t we expect a reply? A busy person will never say that I’m busy though.

                  When it comes to real life, we hardly meet our friends nowadays; parting long distance is the reason. Whoever lives nearby, either they don’t want to meet or they have other more important work to do.

             We spend more time in the virtual world and we are connected through whatsapp, faccebook, twitter or any other means. We look at their pictures, their status and we conclude that person was online and didn’t reply.

                     I learned from one of my friends about ‘mood’. She said it’s all about mood whether she wants to reply or not. Sometimes she shuts herself down for days, it’s nothing personal. I believe it is one hundred percent true. Sometimes I also don’t feel like reading someone’s message or typing a reply message or receive a phone call. I feel I do wrong. And yes one must respect someone’s mood and feeling. Relationship and friendship are all about mutual respect.  

                    But if we leave a simple message saying I will reply you as soon as I get some time or at least a smiley suiting to the situation. Will not it feel better to both sender and receiver? Communication process gets completed when you get a feedback from the receiver end. A proper communication makes the relationship and no communication breaks the relationship. 

_________________________________

My views are personal.

Post #38: React or Respond or Nothing?

           I have faced many unprecedented situations in my life where I really did not know what to do, how to do, where to go, when to do, whom to share with, why to do, lots of question made an amplified noise in my mind. Things were lolling between the lolls. I was in dilemma. I had nothing to answer. Now, when I recall the incidents, I realize I reacted where I should have been responded. I made the things go wrong. But I was not always wrong. 

           Some of my friends in college played politics with me, left no stone unturned to show me down to the world. Rumours & lies were spread. One of my friends told me, people have started hating you, you need to think over. The best thing I did at that time was I neither reacted nor responded, I just ignored and made no change in my personality. I ignored because there was nothing likeable in me, so I let them do whatever they wanted. 

           Sometimes I reacted over falsities and hurt myself. Sometimes I lifted the things to break them, but I stopped my hands halfway, I controlled my reflexes. I counted the numbers down from 10 to 1. I drank cold water and anger vanished. The best thing here I did was I stopped paying attention to my haters; I became straight forward and handled the things practically. 

            My friends reacted when I said I have no friends and no enemies. They reacted because it was the truth, and I spoke the truth. I stood up for myself. I have no regret I made enemies, because I stood against lies, falsities and odds. Now I have beautiful friends, no matter less in number, but they are my quality friends. 

            I remember, I stood against school authority for not teaching properly and not taking actions on time. Some pro-principal teachers warned me to take actions. I alone stood firmly and did in welfare of all my batch mates. I don't know what was that, ‘reaction' or 'response' but I had decided to stand against authority. After that, things started running smoothly. Probably that was action, neither reaction nor response. 

             When I migrated to Delhi 3 years back, I was impatient and violent. Here adapting with the situation was the key. But you can't adapt with everything. I had never used any single word of abusive languages, never consumed alcohol, never smoked nor do I now. These were against my ethics as I believed. I decided to leave the friends with whom I stayed in a flat. When I said, I'm leaving, they started abusing me badly, God can be testified, I did not even speak a single word and I responded very well. It was in my favour. I left the place. It was so peaceful now, because I did not react. 

             There is a gnome, "Not everyone you lose is a loss". It is 100% true. Bad things and bad persons should have no place in your life. They did wrong with me, they would have to face the music. I'm not going to give a damn and hurt myself. 

            Once in a restaurant, one lady saw cockroach moving towards her, as that cockroach approached to her, she panicked, she started jumping and throwing the things, everyone in there panicked after seeing her scared, crying and throwing the things. But waiter came, lifted the coacroach with his gloved hand, placed in a dustbin. Here that lady reacted and waiter responded. 

             In a nutshell, we need to identify where should we react and where should we respond. Reaction may or may not be right, but if you respond carefully things will always go in a right direction. Sometimes ignoring can be the best possible alternative to try. You need to identify. 
_______________________________
My views are personal.

Post #37: No Room for Negativity in Life

NB: This article has been copied from other website.

We live in a society today, where suicide rates due to depression have been increasing at an alarming rate and many of the hapless victims are youngsters. What is it that drives them to end their lives? Why are they so disgusted with life? It is because they see no hope. They are extremely dissatisfied and suffer from very poor self-esteem. All of this stems from an ‘Inferiority Complex’. It is a psychoanalytical concept and is a lack of self-worth, coupled with uncertainty. It is the feeling of depression you get when you think that you don’t match up to the society’s standards. It is often deep-rooted and subconscious.

When it was first studied and analyzed by psychiatrists, it was pervasive in many adults, because of the various situations life puts them through. But nowadays, it is quite common in children too. Inferiority complex may be developed due to genetic factors, as well as due to personal experiences. With inferiority complex, there is always a feeling of inadequacy. The most common cause for inferiority complex is FAILURE.

To combat this dark demon, we need to adopt several confidence-boosting techniques. The methods take very long to show results, but yet, they are tried and tested, and are affirmative. The following ten methods may be adopted to get that stubborn complex out of you!

10. Stay away from negative people for a while

There are many people who feel insecure and they in turn get sadistic and point out the flaws in you. This should not bog you down. You must not even pay heed to it. But if it is too much to handle, try and stay away from all the negative elements that upset you. It will stop those negative thoughts and feelings to creep up inside your devil’s workshop. When you are surrounded by people who can only tell you of your shortcomings, it is bad for you to stay put in such company. When you delete the virus from your system, it becomes easier to function and becomes more efficient!

9. Talk to people and spend more time with your loved ones

Come out of that shell you have created around yourself! Jump out of that well you have mistakenly fallen into! Talk to people. You will see a different side to your story. You will learn that life is how we take it! Mingle with people because it will lessen the mental burden you feel.  Seek a psychiatrist’s counsel if the need arises. It is definitely advisable to seek professional help.

Spend quality time with your loved ones. They love you and will not mock at you.  Being around them will make you happy and comfortable. After all, family comes first!

8. Help other people and get involved in activities

When you help other people, you will realize that you are in a better situation than many of them. Helping people, solving their problems and making them happy will give a special meaning to your life and fill you with happiness and satisfaction. Instead of feeling low and being a burden to yourself, stop worrying and get involved in volunteering activities or activities of any other similar kind. When you are a part of community activities, you will learn about teamwork and many other essential principles, which will wipe out your complex and anxiousness.

7. Do not make unnecessary assumptions!

Sometimes, we make unnecessary assumptions. We think too much and create a problem of our own, that wasn’t even present in the first place. Complete lack of confidence makes us skeptical of our own self and we start imagining wild things! People may not even look at us in an inferior way, but we think they do and make our lives miserable! Some people are too busy with their own lives that they fail to notice you. This doesn’t mean that you are not noticeable. It shouldn’t matter what other people think of you!

6. Look out for sources of motivation

Watch out for anything that can lift your spirits up! Any book that can change the way you think and inspire you to be bold, or any movie whose character ignites that fire in you, or any person whose story can motivate you. There have been several heroes who have got across difficult situations through their sheer motivation and will power. You can draw inspiration from them. If you find creative pursuits like arts and music engrossing, take them up seriously, for they are the best sources of self-satisfaction and fulfillment.

5.  Stop the comparison, now!

Stop comparing yourself to every other person. Your wants will form an endless list. Every person have their own assets and liabilities. To compare and come to a conclusion is a very unwise thing to do. You should focus on your betterment, regardless of how others seem. Besides, you don’t even know what their life is all about, the inside story. Every person is different, born with different abilities and differing interests. It’s like comparing apples and oranges at the end of the day. Both are equally sweet or equally sour. What is the whole point?

4. Focus on your strengths

No one is perfect. Everybody has few inherent flaws and few great strengths. Focus on your strengths. Don’t let your weaknesses define you. Don’t dwell on your past failures. They are done and you cannot do anything about it. It is time you got pragmatic. Identify your strong points and take them seriously. Your forte is the one which will take you to great heights. Focus on your mighty abilities and fine tune them, so that they make you shine like the Alpha Centauri!

3. Work towards your goal, focus!

Once you have found out your strength(s), the next thing you need to work on is your ambition. Everyone has a certain purpose in life, which gives the ultimate meaning to life. Instead of focusing on frivolous shortcomings, you have to focus on your aim. Then you are sure to achieve it. Find out your aptitude and interests. Work hard towards achieving them. All your fear and anxiety will vanish in no time. This is a great remedy to any mind related ailment like the inferiority complex. You should develop a vision and work towards it. Success lies in the ability to step from one failure to another, without the loss of enthusiasm.

2.  Identify the root cause and work on it

There may be several reasons why you start feeling inferior. It may be because of your physical appearance or failure to achieve anything you wanted to. Physical appearance does not decide what you achieve in your life. It is not something you should feel very bad about. Everyone has some nice feature in them. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. It is subjective and can be debated about. Do not let it to douse the spirit in you. If you have failed previously, it only means that you have tried and luck didn’t favour you! Never stop trying! Identify what exactly has caused inferiority complex and work on it, to eliminate it.

1.Love yourself and enjoy  yourself!

I will tell you two magical words: “Love Yourself!” Your parents, friends and dear ones love you. But first, you must learn to accept yourself for who you are, enjoy yourself and love yourself! It will ward off all the unnecessary stress. I would like to quote Dr.Seuss:  “Be who you are, because the people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind!” Be original!You are unique and special! Be happy always!!!

Post #36: Re-examining Our Resolutions

NB: This article has been copied from a website.

Resolution is not a common term you often hear this time of year. Many times, our New Year’s Resolutions are forgotten by February. But, perhaps now that we are almost half way through the year, it would be a good time to reexamine your New Year’s resolutions to see if they’ve stuck or if they’ve fallen by the wayside.

When you make a resolution, by definition you are resolving something, or coming to a firm determination. But, in terms of the New Year, these statements are often made ambiguously with a lack of true commitment.

In reality, most of these so-called resolutions really aren’t resolving anything. Instead, they make us feel guilty when we don’t measure up to our immeasurable expectations.

Take some time to examine the goals that you set for yourself at the beginning of the year. What measurable achievements have you made towards accomplishing your desires?

If you find that you haven’t made much progress, try using these tips to make your resolutions more measurable and achievable in the future.

Focus on What Can Be Gained Rather than What Can Be Lost

The most common resolutions are to lose weight, spend less, quit smoking, reduce stress, and consume fewer alcoholic drinks.

Notice a pattern here? All of these resolutions emphasize the negative. The focus is on what one must give up to improve his life.

Simply reframing your goal statements into affirmations can improve your psychological well-being and increase your chance of achieving your goals and creating positive change in your life.

For example, most of the aforementioned resolutions can be reframed into a statement like “I am going to have a healthier lifestyle this year”.

Create an Action Plan with Measurable Steps

Though positively oriented, the statement “I am going to have a healthier lifestyle this year” is still very vague. What does the statement mean to you?

Are you going to eat an additional serving of vegetables each day? Are you going to walk to work in the mornings? Are you going to take a multivitamin? What are you going to do to make this happen?

If you keep your goal statements vague, you will have a hard time measuring your success. It is very important to be specific. Determine exactly how you are going to improve your health this year, write down your intentions, and start taking action immediately.

Limit Your Focus to One Resolution

So often, people begin the New Year with a list of 10 resolutions. While it is admirable and ambitious to want to make so much positive change in one’s life, it can actually be limiting.

If we try to make too many changes at once, we may find ourselves feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. A true expert knows that if you really want to master something, you must give it your all.

It is okay if you have a list of ten resolutions, but focus on only one a time. Perhaps you can create a list in order of importance and make your way down the list, checking off each accomplishment as you go.

Remember, we’re only half way through the year. There is still plenty of time to work on you resolutions. So don’t beat yourself up for what you haven’t already done. Instead, focus on what you can do now. Re-evaluate those goal statements, limit your focus, and start taking action today!

Post #35: India's Daughter: The BBC Documentary

                India's daughter is a documentary directed,produced and written by Leslee Udwin. It is based on the most infamous incident happened on December 16, 2012; which not only shook the conscience of India but also of the whole world. The history had never witnessed such protest and anger. That even brought and passed the criminal law amendment ordinance in a record time.

                It was supposed to be shown on channel BBC Four worldwide and on NDTV in India on March 8, 2015, The International Women's day. There was a strong advisory circulated not to show the documentary in India and abroad after the parliamentary uproar. However, after growing interest BBC Four decided to prepone and air the documentary on March 4, 2015 but only in UK. 

                 Just after the news came that BBC Four will air the documentary despite the ban and the outrages against documentary on social media like twitter and facebook. Zee News strongly opposed the airing and trended the hashtag #DontRapeAgain means don't embarrass us again by showing this documentary, we Indians are already hurt. Times Now editor Arnab Goswami debated as usual aggressively and trended the hashtag #NirbhayaInsulted. I was looking at the tweets, more than 90% of the people were not in the favor of showing the documentary. They were demanding the ban of whole BBC group. 

                 In parliament, Home Minister said in a strong voice that a rapist can never be interviewed, he is personally hurt over the order issued by previous Ministry of Home Affairs. Lawmakers even demanded to handover the rapist to women on the open road, one argued about the education given and about the mindset. One let us knew that our tourism industry has been hampered badly, we cannot allow this documentary to be aired anywhere, it will malign the name of India on the global platform.

                After watching the documentary on YouTube, I can say banning the documentary will not malign India's name, continuous incidents of rape, molestation and the crime against women will, the lawmakers with criminal background with no trials seating inside parliament will, delay in judgement will(justice delayed is justice denied), low rate of conviction will, the failure at the grassroots will.  

                 The documentary shows the truth, the mirror that the rhetoric mindsets still exist and that too exist against the freedom of women. The rapist, who is facing death sentence,was interviewed by Leslee Udwin. In the interview, he says "while being raped she should have not fought back and protested against, all would have left her alive... girl is for household work, she should have not gone outside after 7 pm...only 20% girls are good, rest all are bad, wear bad clothes, go to bars, discos...one cannot clap with one hand, girls are also responsible...we criminals should have not given death sentence, nothing will happen, if you give death to the rapist then next time onward rapists will kill the girl after rape... what happened to those who raped and burnt a girl, nothing happened". He pointed out the laziness of judiciary, nothing has happened yet and nothing will happen to me too,

                   These statements by the rapist are so disturbing, he has no guilt or compunction of wrongdoing at all. You will be surprised to know the statements given by the defense lawyers and believe me this is the most disappointing part of this documentary. One lawyer says, girl is like a flower, if you will keep in the temple , she will be worshiped, otherwise she will be spoiled...He further adds our culture is the best, there is no place for women...A woman means, I immediately put the sex in his eyes...We never allow our woman to come out of the house...If you put your diamond on the road, certainly the dog will take out. Now think, is he fit to be a lawyer??
         Other lawyer says If my daughter or sister will go out after 7 pm and will have any boyfriend or any relationship or any extra marital affairs, I will burn her alive at my farmhouse. Can such statements be expected from a lawyer, who fights for the rights of human being and brings people to justice? Should not these lawyers be banned from practices? I hope Bar Council will take stern action against these morons. Trust me, such mindsets will malign the name of India. 

                Low rate of conviction, delay in justice, mindset, education, economical background, surroundings and many factors are responsible for the crimes against the women. One turning point was that incident. I hope the second turning point will be this airing of documentary. Parents would have to teach their sons how to behave toward women, how to give respect instead of not allowing their daughters to go out and to wear particular dress. Parents would have to work over the sacrament, the upbringing, the mindset their sons are developing. 

                       Nothing has changed since December 16, 2012. But changes can be brought on the ground with the collective responsibilities. Men would have to come forward and work for the freedom of women. Women would have to be more stronger than ever before. Women,the better halves, are entitled to be born, to go anywhere, anytime and have the right to wear  anything they want.

                     The documentary has some parts which may be objectionable to the society as well as to the govt; like how a rapist can be interviewed and allowed to speak remorselessly who has no regret over such heinous crime, how the real name of the victim can be used in the documentary film. But it will also show the real mindset men possess in the patriarchal society. The pain of the parents of India's daughter will leave you disturbed to the core of your heart...forever. The tears in the eyes of her mother will break you. Her proud father says, "A tornado had come, hope it will change everything now".
______________________
My views are personal.

Post #34: Laali

                      I had never seen such emotional and heart-rending incident which left me traumatized for quite a week. Whenever I saw her, I wanted to solace her, I wanted to pamper her by touching her golden hairs and I wanted to feed her. 

                      It happened when I used to live in the northern part of Delhi. My flat was situated just in front of her caretaker's flat. She was so naughty, elegant and caring toward her caretaker and members of her friend circle. Neither I nor her caretaker had any idea about her parents nor had she. After observing her for months, I was able to understand her needs i.e., pampering and some food and nothing else. 

                     She was naughty because she frequently used to hide the caretaker's flip-flop and used to present that flip-flop after pampering and food; usually biscuit, bread and milk. Elegant because she was good looking and owned shiny golden hairs. Caring because she was loyal and chased unwanted food hunters. 

                        I saw her in the summer, running back and forth, shaking her golden hairs. I saw her in the rainy season, bathing in open park, standing below the silver vertical water streams pouring from sky through the edge of the terrace. Believe me she looked like a golden flower in the lush green park. I saw her in the early winter, she was little different might be because of the lower temperature. Unfortunately she had nothing woolen to wear. 

                       In the middle winter, she looked little fat, shine of the hairs was missing, it took me no time to understand that she was pregnant. I could see her caretaker was taking extra care to feed her. 

                       Just after two-three days, I saw her caretaker packing bags, folding beds, unscrewing air condition from the wall. I came to know they sold the flat and they are moving to somewhere else, they bought better flat than they had. 

                        Laali was the name given by her caretaker since her childhood and I can tell you 'Laali' was the perfect name for her. It suited her personality. When Laali came to know about her caretaker leaving and moving far from the current locality, she stopped eating and acting. She just put her legs forward and laid herself down like she was lifeless.

                        She had never gone inside her caretaker's flat. That was the day she went inside and roaming, sniffing the packages and came outside, again laid down at the base of entrance gate of the flat. I could see her moistened pinkish eyes blinking slowly and periodically. She was looking continuously and selflessly at her caretaker to not leave the flat or to take her with themselves. 

                       Who had stopped the one who wanted to go. Laali was not strong enough to stop them. She was helpless. Her caretaker left some bread, loaded all the packages on the truck and started leaving. Laali started roaming around them in circle. Her caretaker could also not stop themselves crying. They pampered Laali for the last time and moved on. She started chasing the truck in a slow motion. But soon Laali realised and stopped. After vanishing the truck, she came back and started eating bread left by her caretaker. 

                   Some days later, she found a small cave like structure inside a park surrounded by unwanted weeds. She stopped visiting our street. Laali believed that her haven is in that park now. She was going to be a mother soon, she was dreaming inside that cave probably. 

                        That park was of DDA(Delhi Development Authority), whole locality used to throw their solid waste there. There were small small mountain like structures made up of plastics,papers,leaves etc. Some DDA laborers had come with weed cutting instrument, kerosene oil and a matchbox. Bulldozer demolished the wall and took all those solid waste mountains out of the park. Laborers set ablaze those weeds without knowing what's hiding there.

                        Laali was not present at her house, that cave in the park, probably was out for food hunt. When she came, she saw fire flames, started making noise and crying, she lost her senses, started rolling on the ground. When I came to know that her children were burnt alive. I just sat on the veranda of my flat for a moment, stood up and ran towards the park. It was so shocking to see those burnt black structures, her four out of five children had turned in to the ashes. The fifth child was so small and more than three-fourth of the body was already burnt, though alive, I can say Laali had delivered the babies not more than 2-3 days ago. Everyone present there was agonized and desolated to the core of the heart. 

                          Some aunties, being mothers, were feeling the pain and tried consoling Laali at the time of grief and huge loss. One auntie came with little milk and bread, tried to feed her. But she refused to have the food. There was a hope in her eyes as one of her baby was still alive. Unfortunately she could not sustain that hope and lost the piece of her heart. Laali took a deep breath, closed her eyes and slept in an unconscious mode. I could not stop myself and left the place. Laali was a beautiful female dog, a beautiful mother. She had the same feeling, same care, same heart our mothers have for us. 

               

             

Post #33: Something deep needs to be understood

Post #32: The 14th Finance Commission

[Source: The Hindu http://www.thehindu.com/business/Economy/all-you-need-to-know-on-finance-commission/article6928860.ece?ref=relatedNews]

Chairman: Y.V.Reddy

What is a Finance Commission?

It is a body set up under Article 280 of the Constitution. Its primary job is to recommend measures and methods on how revenues need to be distributed between the Centre and states.

What else is its job?

Besides suggesting the mechanism to share tax revenues, the Commission also lays down the principles for giving out grant-in-aid to states and other local bodies. In the case of 14th Commission, these principles will apply for a five-year period beginning April 1, 2015.

What kind of work a Finance Commission has to do?

The commission has to take on itself the job of addressing the imbalances that often arise between the taxation powers and expenditure responsibilities of the centre and the states, respectively. Primarily, it has to ensure a sense of equality in public services across the states.

Who is the head of the latest i.e. 14th Finance Commission?

Former Governor of the Reserve Bank of India, Mr. Y.V. Reddy, is the Chairman.

Who are the other members of the Commission?

The Commission comprise Abhijit Sen, Member, Planning Commission; Sushama Nath, Former Union Finance Secretary; M Govinda Rao, former Director of National Institute of Public Finance and Policy; Sudipto Mundle, former Acting Chairman, National Statistical Commission; and AN Jha, Secretary to the Commission.

Are the recommendations of the 14th Finance Commission unanimous?

It appears there is a dissent. The report is believed to contain a dissent note from Planning Commission member Abhijit Sen.

What is the key recommendation of the 14th Finance Commission?

It has recommended an increase in the share of states in the centre's tax revenue from the current 32 per cent to 42 per cent. This is indeed the single largest increase ever recommended by a Finance Commission.

What does it means to States?

As against a total devolution of Rs. 3.48 lakh crore approximately in 2014-15, the total devolution to the States in 2015-16 will be Rs. 5.26 lakh crore approximately, a year-on-year increase of Rs. 1.78 lakh crore approximately

What will the impact of this recommendation if accepted by the Centre?

"The higher tax devolution will allow States greater autonomy in financing and designing schemes as per their needs and requirements," says the report. Practically, it will give more power to states in determining how they spend this money.

What is the implication of this recommendation?

Well, it comes at a time when the Centre is trying to push GST (goods and services tax). Perhaps, higher devolution will help to reassure the States that they will not be at the wrong end of the stick if GST is introduced.

Got the much awaited laptop now waiting to get some time

probably after 22nd of Feb'15 I will be able to write something...

Desperately waiting for the laptop

A lot to write...Laptop...I wish...